Celebrating Jewish Traditions and Your Child’s Gender Identity: The B-Mitzvah

Going into our 27th year in business, we have seen traditions, styles, and celebrations change and evolve.  We spend our days making sure that the events we produce are extremely personalized and match the personalities, interests, and needs of our clients.  These needs may go far beyond just picking colors, a theme, and party favors.  In recent years, clients have expressed a desire to celebrate and honor not only their child’s journey to Jewish adulthood but also their journeys exploring who they are as individuals and their own personal identities.

What Is a B-Mitzvah?

The beauty of Jewish tradition is how it persists through generations, connecting us to our ancestors even as the world and society change. As the world progresses, each generation translates and moves forward with traditions in new ways, and language and practice may adapt to meet these changes. As children become adults, they are taking part in this lineage and doing so in a way that respects both tradition and their own identities, and that is one thing that makes Judaism enduring.

With more people of b’nei mitzvah age exploring their gender identities and identifying as non-binary and trans, it is essential to think about how we celebrate these life occasions. In order to meet our client’s evolving needs, we have spoken with many Rabbis and professionals in the event planning industry. One newer tradition these experts recommend is referring to a non-binary child becoming a Jewish adult and reading from the Torah as a “B-Mitzvah” or the also commonly used “Brit Mitzvah” or “Simcha Bat”. To learn more, click here. 

How Can You Make Your Non-Binary Child Feel More Comfortable During the B-Mitzvah Process?

In addition to adopting more inclusive language, there are other factors one may consider when gathering friends and family together who may have not seen your child in years or witnessed the changes your child and your family have gone through over the years. The most important aspects of any celebration are making sure that the host, guest of honor and everyone attending feel comfortable, have a wonderful time, and make incredible memories. 

While planning a child’s celebration, it is crucial to include them and their needs whenever possible in the decision-making process. For example, let your child select an outfit that is comfortable, appropriate for the occasion and that they feel confident wearing. Remember to be sensitive to your child’s identity in both written correspondence with your guests and your speeches. Refer to your child by their preferred pronouns or by their first or chosen name. For other aspects of the celebrations, such as photo montages, take special care to ensure you are sharing only photos they would be comfortable with having displayed.

How Can You Make Guests Feel More Comfortable During the B-Mitzvah Process?

While reviewing the guest list with your child, consider the pronouns of your guests and research or speak with a professional stationer about the proper way to address envelopes and place cards. Refrain from using gendered terms like “ladies and gentlemen” when addressing your guests as a crowd.

Throughout the planning process, it is important to stay authentic to who you are and your family’s values and that your place of worship and the clergy accept those values as well.  As your child’s Simcha Bat date approaches, it may be a good idea to meet with all those at the synagogue involved in the process so they can get to know your family and your child, and you can plan a service that represents who they are.

At this age in a child’s life, as they are discovering who they are, what they believe in, and how they are going to have an impact on this world, it is important that they be celebrated, recognized, and respected for who they are, and make traditions in new ways just as their parents, grandparents, and the many generations before them did.

Hire a Party Planner From Innovative Party Planners

Innovative Party Planners is your resource for event design and planning in Maryland, Washington, D.C., Pennsylvania and Virginia. To learn more about our event planning services and how we can help make your B-Mitzvah event one of a kind, contact us by clicking here or calling (410) 998-9999.