What to Consider When Postponing a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah and Tasks
We are all currently going through a tumultuous period, and the health and safety of your family are most important. However, the current turbulence can make it hard for those who have spent the past year or more planning events in the coming weeks and months. If you are contemplating postponing your child’s bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, here are some of the things you must consider.
What’s the Goal?
Your goal should be to keep as many of your preset ceremony and celebration elements and plans as possible. That being said, the longer that you wait to create a back-up plan or postpone, the lower availability there will be with vendors and venues. You might also be forced to pay additional fees. When you allow yourself to get within two or three weeks of the event, the florist might have already ordered flowers, custom décor items might have already been built, stationery has gone to print and the caterer has ordered food. That means that you won’t be able to receive a refund for those costs, and you might need to pay for them twice.
Communicate with Your Tutor, Rabbi, Temple, Shul & Synagogue
Start by thinking about where the service is being held and whether or not they are currently open and holding services or events. If not, check to see if they have a date when they plan to reopen. Can the people leading the service be with you if you move the service to you home?
Depending on your situation, you might want to hold your service at home. However, current restrictions will require the event to be only your immediate family. Determine how to record or stream the service live and try to include family.
If it is determined that the ceremony date must change, what dates are open for your family, the venue and the other people involved? When considering alternative dates, ask if your Rabbi or tutor will allow your child to read the same portion from the Torah on another Shabbat, or do a reading on an alternate day like Monday or Thursday. Ideally, they will be able to temporarily hold a handful of dates for you until you get a chance to speak to all vendors.
Celebration Rescheduled? Communicate with Your Venue & Vendors
Many families choose to stick with the original ceremony date and reschedule only the celebration. If that is the case for you, talk with your venue to get available dates for fall 2020 or winter 2021. If you have also rescheduled the service, you will want to find a date that lines up with the service. Work with your party planner to review your vendor contracts and policies on cancellations and postponements. Create a list of all of your vendors, contact information, deposits paid and their cancellation policies. Speak with them about how you would like to keep your vendor team together and merely move to another day, and work to get a list of potential dates. Then, speak with the vendors about what happens to your deposit if they are unable to accommodate the new day.
Communicate with Your Guests
The sooner that you tell your guests you will be postponing a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, the better (even if you don’t have a new date!). Stay in touch with your guests via email. If you have not sent invitations yet, see if you can still make corrections or modify them before you send them out. If you have sent invitations, you could send an email or a notecard in the mail, with or without a new date.
Communicate with Your Child
Finally, you need to communicate with your child about postponing their bar or bat mitzvah. Be open and honest, and let them work through their emotions. Show them ways that other people are dealing with the situation, or other postponed events, and emphasize that health is the top priority. Allow yourselves to celebrate on the original date, even if it makes you feel a little sad. Start the day with special breakfast, practice the service and maybe even dress up. Set up a virtual way to connect with your close family and their friends to still make it a special and memorable day for your child. You can also ask the guests to prepare and mail special cards to share with your child on that date. You may want to present your child with a special gift.
We Can Help When Postponing a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah
Innovative Party Planners is your resource for event design and planning in Maryland, Washington, D.C., Pennsylvania and Virginia. To learn more about our event planning services and how we can help make your event one of a kind, contact us by calling (410) 998-9999.